But I still feel that my wife is my one and only best friend and while I may be frustrated , I will always hold that more dear than anything else. We men are not brain dead. I just cant keep going like this. But, you must remember that this rejection of your sexual advances is often triggered by some underlying reasons. Sorry long diatribe. Whats more, you are not doomed to be in a sexless marriage! It might be time for you to be more responsible and let your wife have some me-time. Pamper her with a spa day or take her out on a nice vacation for two, to break the monotony and give her the relaxation she truly needs and deserves. She told me a few years ago that she felt sorry for me because of her lack of sexual desire. This kind of if the man would only be more __ advice saturates the internet and its usually written by people with degrees instead of wisdom. Nothing before marriage, nothing on our wedding night and little to nothing for the next 46+ years. Guess were done here . My husband had 19 affairs. Even if he cant accept the divorce is coming!!! Who gets up and takes card of them? Youre describing my dilemma to a tee. I love her. Discuss it with her: Share this iMOM article with your wife and discuss it: 4 Things You Can Do When Youre Not in the Mood. I am 62 and much healthier than my wife. Thanks for pointing out that marriage therapy can also help with problems about having a sexless marriage. What to do about it: "You need to take the stress out of sex in three steps: Challenge your expectations, communicate effectively with your partner, and take the pressure off by using new physical experiences," Zimmerman advises. I do most of the household chores, she doesnt work outside the home, and hasnt since weve been married i constantly compliment her looks,I have been striving for decades to woo her, and sex is now completely off the table, and she wont even cuddle or kiss. Dont fool yourself into thinking that what you say or how you say it will somehow turn her back on. I want to get divorced and he refuses to accept that our marriage just simply was never a Marriage. Not!! We feel just as frustrated that our actions are not recognized by our women. I think that the advice to seek a trained sex therapist, and the encouragement to increase communication between this man and his wife is appropriate and excellent. But this past 6 months I see things slipping and I feel we are not getting that closeness and are becoming more distant even though we do many things together. Learn how your comment data is processed. She put in over $300K on our $1M house and I told her we may need to sell it when my youngest graduates high school. If your wife seems distant, take a step back to analyze where you may have gone wrong or why you feel like she cannot trust you again. The vast majority are trained to be misandrists and far too many are grotesquely unethical. Its a bummer most times. Needless to say, both of us are feeling a renewed awareness of who we were and now are. Susan I think many men would find your comments upsetting. Then we got married and had kids (not that I regret) but 20 years of pulling teeth juts to get touched or even desired really hurts. Feeling like my wife never initiates intimacy is incredibly frustrating. We both have health issues Underlying medical problems But I noticed the past 3 years she has seldom initiated intimate relations, and I attribute that to she likes to use her ipad and play puzzle / word/ and brain teaser games and does surf her FB some. Ohio M in same situation and when I bring it up she always says well why dont you just get a divorce. If men want more sex the this is what you should do. My husband stopped 25 years ago when he couldnt get it up. 1. I work hard and have to masturbate sometimes to fall asleep. People get lazy and just expect sex to happen because theyre married. I in the same boat as your husband. If your vagina is dry, find out why. Joan Price is the authorof several books including The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50 andthe award-winning self-help bookNaked at Our Age.Visit Joans blog, Naked at Our Age and herFacebook page. Even too much Viagra can cause things like blindness. Arthritis: No Cure, But Ways to Ease the Pain. I love him as much as the air I breathe, but I just wish he would realize Im suffering and offer that its ok for me to have some on the side. Have some fun with someone now and then would help .. any reply on if cheating what to look at to find someone Where???? Join as many groups as you can, and leave him at home. Its super annoying if he touches my breasts because I get aroused and then we just cant get it going and then so much unanswered frustration comes. Absolute rubbish! Spice up your appearance. In other words, pressure makes for bad sex even when you actually end up having it, and all that pressure and bad sex might make your wife just lose interest in sex completely. Given the fact that 34%, (some studies say as high as 40%) of women and 15% of men dont like/want sex, is it any wonder that 50% of marriages end in divorce? However, unless you know why your wife is avoiding sex or any forms of physical intimacy, you wont know what you need to work on. I would do just about anything to have a willing partner like you! During our engagement I made it crystal clear that my sex drive was high & she was the perfect woman to relieve it. Share This: Have a question about relationships and sex for seniors? It makes me feel sick. Hi, Nice advice. When hes not writing or advising people on how to thrive in their relationships, he loves exploring new places with his partner, working out, and pretending that hes good at cooking exotic stuff. I do not want to out her to the family as they all adore her. I sense for it to get all the way to her not wanting to be touched whatsoever at all anymore, something must have happened. We use a great lubricant called Astroglide, to help things along, good stuff. I absolutely adore my wife/partner I love her dearly and would do anything for her. Some of it comes from knowing that your partner is unhappy," she writes at mbg. Regards Glenn. She likely doesn't want you to touch her bc whenever you do it leads to an implied intimacy interaction she doesn't want. Would you expect your wife to attach as much emotional significance to cooking dinner as to making love? I have been a loyal affectionate hard working husband ( I would say that!) He spent 100.00 on his mother as he forgot to get her a card why cant he forgive me ? who cares any more if your in a sexless marriage! Sex is over. Research published by the National Marriage Project found that couples who make time for date night experience benefits, such as, , improved communication skills, and injecting excitement and. I have read here about mostly women who do not desire sex, but let me tell you, men not wanting or giving their female partners sex is an unmentionable crisis in our homes. After the Revenge cheat she had the nerve to 10 years of this and going on5 years since last try, dont sleep in same be, snoring medical issues up down. She even said to me that I should leave if I am not happy, she prefers that I do not, but basically what she is saying is that if I want to stay, this is the way its going to be. A sexologist is not going to be able to overcome a lack or imbalance of hormones. Ive just seen this ,not sure when posted .ive tried so hard to get wife to have sex .she says menopause.then I gave up.but other we I had a beer and told her how I felt .silly beer a..so she been trying to start sex but my body has closed down to her .im worried ive turned off to her mentally.I do love her but shes noticed im not getting aroused like I used too .and now shes saying I prefer porn, but its how ive got by for so long.its really .mested up.im 53sorry. Having said that, it still stinks. Having said that, I understand your frustration too. Your wife may have become so involved in raising the kids that her relationship with you takes a backseat. If your wife wont have sex, it could be that she just doesnt feel close to you anymore, and the idea of being intimate makes her feel too vulnerable. But, on the sex side, not too good. Who sacrifices? Even with all the gadgets and hired help, modern women have a lot on their plate. I told her that men my age generally took longer to orgasm and for sex to be mutually enjoyable, we both needed to have pleasure. Im in ok shape, not overweight . I chose to stay just to piss my wife off. Only 50 at wits end, I dont want to start over, but I dont want to go another 10 years like this either, I cant talk to her about it be cause she has tried it didnt work, but no physical contact and her liking other guys attention just makes it unbearable, Between the undesirable side effects of the meds I take for depression and the unfortunate consequences of menopause, my sex drive is just dead, and I neither care nor have any desire whatsoever to revive it. When emotional intimacy dies a slow death in your relationship, its possible that it could signal an affair. Harley I completely recovered and had to start my own business to share in the household expenses. We havent had sex in over a year and a half because of my wifes lack of interest. I have the same problem I love my wife but I need sex. He is a selfish person he is only thinking of himself. Well said my friend. Women love that. Why is a mans focus so connected to his ability to use a womans body to empty the contents of his balls? An underlying, undetectedmental health issue can affect sex drive. If shes not in the mood neither am I . Better have the most compatibly with someone ans have a happy fulfilling relationship. I was active outside a few times with permission, after 7 years of zero sex, and was not having problems engaging in it, but that had to stop when I tried to help a person I was seeing was caught. For others that are on the borderline of this happening: I am in your same position but from the other side I am a 64 year old healthy, active man. There is hope on the horizon. Once you restore an emotional connection, your physical one is sure to follow. Research shows that women who had a positive view of themselves reported higher levels of intimate encounters and arousal. Juggling household and professional responsibilities single-handedly is no easy feat. But just remember, mature willing women are unicorns. Lame! It seems a waste in the end. Not so in an egalitarian or woman-dominated marriage where she gets what she wants that always ends in dysfunction & misery. Its not always the woman who has no interest. I have a high libido and masterbate frequently, which I know she is aware of. What to do about it: Learning to love your own body is a personal journey, so this isn't really something you can fix for her just by giving her compliments (though that can certainly help!). We all deserve to be held, to be touched, to be told and shown we are desired and needed for far more than cleaning a house, fixing a meal or providing a paycheck. When a wife who has to cook, clean, take care of the kids, do the laundry, pick the kids up from school and take a couple of classes she is too tired to perform another task after all that she has done in one day. As if I was only there as a sperm donor. Its like he just doesnt think about it ever. What r u holding on for?! Like I have a total stranger as a house guest. We were easy pickings since that biological clock was ticking louder and she still hadnt landed Chad. The wife was boring and I had to follow so many rules and regulations when it came to sleeping and sex together. Im over 60 and Im learning to accept this is the way life is going to be for the rest of my life. Quick and fast is also good. Thats crazy my husband is the one who is lacking in wanting orgasms, I still need them daily so I continue with out him, I am tired of all the good years I wasted on him waiting lol our kids are grown and gone I still love sex! I hope to eventually meet another same sex partner willing to take her time and see what works. She doesnt like the image she sees in the mirror and that quells any sexual desire within. (That is very thoughtful, I do all those things because my wife is Special and I want her to be happy) I have always shared the housework and dont mean picking up my clothes yes I am defensive because women dont believe med do housework. . I understand. For many men, wooing and life after wooing are two vastly different realities. The subtle ways dates, touching, hoping havent worked and although years have passed, neither of you really understands yet how the other feels. Two years and counting, its got me climbing the walls! I dont masturbate much because I would prefer to be with her. I am fine with him pleasuring himself and even using porn is fine. Very true! Sure I wish I could be confident in her skin too but Im not going to let it overwhelm me.
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